So Long, Suckers -I'm RICH!
-or "Disposable Outcome"
Predator Press
[LOBO]
From: CBN (cntrlbankofnigeria@gmail.com)
Sent: Mon 11/16/09 1:36 AM
To: [none]
Good day,
This is to notify you that after we met today with The President,Finance Minister,The senators,House of Representative and The Central Bank Governor and we came to a conclusion that we have to pay you the sum of USD1.5M.
The payment will be via ATM CARD,therefore send your name and address/tel. number.
Your immediate respond is urgently needed.
Mailafia.
From: LOBO
Sent: Tues 11/17/09 8:36 PM
To: From cbn (cntrlbankofnigeria@gmail.com)
Dearest Mailifia,
First let me express how overwhelmed I am at such an impressive collection of dignitaries that owe me money. It doesn’t happen very often –indeed, my mail is so full of indignants, I might have overlooked this entirely.
Without meaning to offend, would you be so kind as to prompt my memory as to who you are? The name ’Mailifia’ doesn’t ring a bell. Is that Jewish? There’s a Jewish guy out here that makes cool movies, but Steven Spielberg doesn’t return my calls ... and has thus far returned every screenplay I’ve sent him doodled with pornography and smelling suspiciously like urine.
And I don’t offhand remember many business dealings in Nigeria –in fact I don’t really have any idea where Nigeria even is geographically. So-Cal maybe? There was this one time I had to drive through Memphis and had to stop for gas. I bought 9 gallons, a bag of Funyuns, and a box of Chicklets. I was fully an hour away before I discovered that the Chicklets weren’t in the bag, and solemnly swore from that moment forward I would never leave the United States ever again.
Is this my Chicklet refund, plus accrued interest? I must say if you have gone through all this trouble to track me down and “make things right,” it might change my low opinion of foreigners -particularly ones too dumb to move out of their third world, backwater provinces- and vastly improve our diplomatic relations.
Visa # 9748-5099-1818-7707
MasterCard # 8080-7891-4504-9909
The MasterCard is actually my wife’s, but she’s cool. Both accounts only contain a few thousand dollars so you might need the ‘PIN’ numbers too, so the bank doesn't flag this disproportionately large deposit: they are both “7984.”
In the spirit of global peace, I accept this gesture from the Great Nation of Tennessee. May our countries enjoy many years of mutual prosperity, and the time where we bomb the crap out of you be far, far in the distant future.
-LOBO
Predator Press
[LOBO]From: CBN (cntrlbankofnigeria@gmail.com)
Sent: Mon 11/16/09 1:36 AM
To: [none]
Good day,
This is to notify you that after we met today with The President,Finance Minister,The senators,House of Representative and The Central Bank Governor and we came to a conclusion that we have to pay you the sum of USD1.5M.
The payment will be via ATM CARD,therefore send your name and address/tel. number.
Your immediate respond is urgently needed.
Mailafia.
From: LOBO
Sent: Tues 11/17/09 8:36 PM
To: From cbn (cntrlbankofnigeria@gmail.com)
Dearest Mailifia,
First let me express how overwhelmed I am at such an impressive collection of dignitaries that owe me money. It doesn’t happen very often –indeed, my mail is so full of indignants, I might have overlooked this entirely.
Without meaning to offend, would you be so kind as to prompt my memory as to who you are? The name ’Mailifia’ doesn’t ring a bell. Is that Jewish? There’s a Jewish guy out here that makes cool movies, but Steven Spielberg doesn’t return my calls ... and has thus far returned every screenplay I’ve sent him doodled with pornography and smelling suspiciously like urine.
And I don’t offhand remember many business dealings in Nigeria –in fact I don’t really have any idea where Nigeria even is geographically. So-Cal maybe? There was this one time I had to drive through Memphis and had to stop for gas. I bought 9 gallons, a bag of Funyuns, and a box of Chicklets. I was fully an hour away before I discovered that the Chicklets weren’t in the bag, and solemnly swore from that moment forward I would never leave the United States ever again.
Is this my Chicklet refund, plus accrued interest? I must say if you have gone through all this trouble to track me down and “make things right,” it might change my low opinion of foreigners -particularly ones too dumb to move out of their third world, backwater provinces- and vastly improve our diplomatic relations.Visa # 9748-5099-1818-7707
MasterCard # 8080-7891-4504-9909
The MasterCard is actually my wife’s, but she’s cool. Both accounts only contain a few thousand dollars so you might need the ‘PIN’ numbers too, so the bank doesn't flag this disproportionately large deposit: they are both “7984.”
In the spirit of global peace, I accept this gesture from the Great Nation of Tennessee. May our countries enjoy many years of mutual prosperity, and the time where we bomb the crap out of you be far, far in the distant future.
-LOBO
Comments
DG: When I was trying to figure out my 'tack' on this topic, I kept thinking "shouldn't Nigeria be embarrassed by these guys?"
But as a nation, we do our share of 'outsourcing' crap we don't tolerate here too. "Big Tobacco" for example, doesn't adhere to our rather strict local advertising limitations, and is creating more new slaves to its product than ever. Fast food chains -ones I promise you drive past every day- and mainstream soft drink companies sponsor chicken fights.
-Payback is a bitch.
Reforming Geek: Dammit!
-now I have to get my money back from Vegas.
Becki It'll buy a lot of egg nog, that's for sure.
I told Terri we shouldn't take last year's Christmas tree down. And just like I predicted, pow, they're havin another one.
Her life would be a lot easier if she would just listen to me.
Static: I'll bet those guys cashed in on a handful of gullible people, and were long gone before I even got this post up.
-I should run a trace on the IP. It probably didn't even come out of Nigeria.