Diamond Cutter

Predator Press

[LOBO]

“Maybe he was really busy,” Terri offers.

“Too busy to be a decent human being?” I says, staring at the monitor. “I don’t buy it. I’ve got plenty of time, and I’m a lousy human being.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“This was an attack,” I insist. “He planned the whole thing.”

“Okay. So you’re argument is the guy wrote two books just to screw with your blog.”

“Indeed,” I says. “He coulda had a crack team of insurgents write those books for him. You want books? I'll bet with right terrorist connections, you could get your hands on, like, three books. They have training camps for this sort of thing in Afghanistan."

“Wait. What-?”

"If you get ‘em young enough," I continue, "you can brainwash them into doing suicide ‘pie in the face’ gags. It’s diabolical, but it’s the same strategy we used when we invaded Pearl Harbor." I shake my head solemnly. "No wonder those bastards hate us.”

"Have you slept?"

“What? Need more proof you say? Look at this,” I says, pointing at the screen. “November 11. Like September 11. ‘Cept worse –nobody told me I ‘email like a girl’ on September 11.”

Using ALT and TAB, I flip to my email inbox. "'Email like a girl,'" I mutter. "That’s preposterous.”

“Look, why don’t you take a breather?”

“That is preposterous. Right?”

There’s an awkward silence.

"Ah crap," I scowl. “Would putting pornography in it help?”