Predator Press Interviews: Barack Obama
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Uncharacteristically prepared for this 07/02/08 interview, I am a little stunned at Obama’s well-groomed and relaxed demeanor. However, a seasoned journalist, I’ve learned to face these surprises with an icy cool that only comes with experience.
We professionally shake hands, and the interview begins.
-But armed with tedious 'facts' and stuff, I come out swinging.
LOBO: So why’d you do it?
Obama: Excuse me?
LOBO: You know what you did.
[Obama shrugs, bewildered]
LOBO: You know, that whole "September 11th" thing.
Obama: I think you are thinking of Osama.
LOBO: Who?
Obama: Osama Bin Laden.
LOBO: Who are you?
Obama: I’m Barack Obama.
LOBO: No relation?
Obama: No.
LOBO: Ever think about attacking America with airplanes?
Obama: No.
LOBO: Ever been on an airplane?
Obama: Yes.
LOBO: But never thought of attacking America with it?
Obama: No. I did, however, remove my seat belt before the light instructed me to.
LOBO: Now you’re being a smart ass.
Obama: No. I’m completely serious. I lost myself in a moment of reckless abandon.
LOBO: See? You’re mocking me.
Obama: I also stole four bags of peanuts when the flight attendant wasn’t looking.
LOBO: Really?
Obama: No. Then I was mocking you.
LOBO: So why are you here?
Obama: For the interview.
LOBO: Are you supposed to be interesting for some reason?
Obama: Well, I’m running for President.
LOBO: Well, so am I. Lah-dee-dah!
Obama: Good luck to you.
LOBO: What’s your platform?
Obama: Making America a better place.
LOBO: Oh god that is SO boring. We could’ve got Hillary to say that.
Obama: Boring? What’s your platform?
LOBO: I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it yet. Maybe making a gigantic space robot that’ll squish Al Queda with big-assed feet.
Obama: Sounds expensive.
LOBO: I’ll slash the budget, then.
Obama: Where?
LOBO: Anyplace that doesn’t contribute directly to the space robot, or the Brazilian Bikini-Wax Act.
Obama: What about Welfare?
LOBO: We’ll get plenty of welfare once we’ve got a bad-assed space robot in our corner. C’mon Obama, use your imagination here. It’ll build, like, entire schools in a matter of minutes. And it will fight crime.
Obama: It will fight crime too?
LOBO: I’m sensing some skepticism here.
Obama: Will it deliver the mail?
LOBO: Now you’re being silly.
[LOBO]
Uncharacteristically prepared for this 07/02/08 interview, I am a little stunned at Obama’s well-groomed and relaxed demeanor. However, a seasoned journalist, I’ve learned to face these surprises with an icy cool that only comes with experience.
We professionally shake hands, and the interview begins.
-But armed with tedious 'facts' and stuff, I come out swinging.
LOBO: So why’d you do it?
Obama: Excuse me?
LOBO: You know what you did.
[Obama shrugs, bewildered]
LOBO: You know, that whole "September 11th" thing.
Obama: I think you are thinking of Osama.
LOBO: Who?
Obama: Osama Bin Laden.
LOBO: Who are you?
Obama: I’m Barack Obama.
LOBO: No relation?
Obama: No.
LOBO: Ever think about attacking America with airplanes?
Obama: No.
LOBO: Ever been on an airplane?
Obama: Yes.
LOBO: But never thought of attacking America with it?
Obama: No. I did, however, remove my seat belt before the light instructed me to.
LOBO: Now you’re being a smart ass.
Obama: No. I’m completely serious. I lost myself in a moment of reckless abandon.
LOBO: See? You’re mocking me.
Obama: I also stole four bags of peanuts when the flight attendant wasn’t looking.
LOBO: Really?
Obama: No. Then I was mocking you.
LOBO: So why are you here?
Obama: For the interview.
LOBO: Are you supposed to be interesting for some reason?
Obama: Well, I’m running for President.
LOBO: Well, so am I. Lah-dee-dah!
Obama: Good luck to you.
LOBO: What’s your platform?
Obama: Making America a better place.
LOBO: Oh god that is SO boring. We could’ve got Hillary to say that.
Obama: Boring? What’s your platform?
LOBO: I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it yet. Maybe making a gigantic space robot that’ll squish Al Queda with big-assed feet.
Obama: Sounds expensive.
LOBO: I’ll slash the budget, then.
Obama: Where?
LOBO: Anyplace that doesn’t contribute directly to the space robot, or the Brazilian Bikini-Wax Act.
Obama: What about Welfare?
LOBO: We’ll get plenty of welfare once we’ve got a bad-assed space robot in our corner. C’mon Obama, use your imagination here. It’ll build, like, entire schools in a matter of minutes. And it will fight crime.
Obama: It will fight crime too?
LOBO: I’m sensing some skepticism here.
Obama: Will it deliver the mail?
LOBO: Now you’re being silly.
Comments
Tiffany: I stole that from one of my fave sites, Freaking News. (If you click on the pic it will take you there too.)
Malaya: The bad news is I don't do link exchanges anymore. The last time I did one it was for a cool enough site, but then a week later they emailed me wanting to change it. Already annoyed I did, only to find a few weeks later the new link was for some stupid internet marketing crap (and even better, the jerk had me buried on some secondary links page no one would ever go to!)
The good news is I put up links for sites I like with "no strings attached" once I've verified over time it's a serious blog or site worth going to.
I'll keep an eye on you!!
:)
If the giant robot needs a driver, I would like to volunteer!!
-Which is a big step up actually; Bush and Cheney didn't want you to bother with the whole "thinking" thing.
Speedcat: You, Neon Bubble and Julius Bloop were supposed to be ON this list! Wanna guest post someday?
:)