The Number You Haven't Dialed ...
Predator Press
[LOBO]
"He's not calling," says Terri.
"Of course he's calling," I insist. "You remember the now-historic interview I had with Barack. We had a real moment there.”
“You don’t think he would have called you by now?”
“I'm sure he's very busy. Who else would Barack pick as VP? Do you think he wants Don Lewis to win?"
“What about John McCain?”
“Oh come on. Nobody is seriously voting a fast food clown in for president.”
“That’s Ronald McDonald. John McCain is a decorated war vet, and-“
“Which war?”
“Vietnam.”
“Did he win?”
“Well-"
“He must have won,” I reflect. “He also survived the subsequent World Wars One and Two. That’s impressive.”
“What?”
“They name wars alphabetically so history students don’t have a hard time.”
“Really.”
“Yes. That’s why we’re never moving to Yugoslavia.”
“Because we’re going to have a war there?”
“They will probably retool all those Yugo factories to build tanks, but we can wipe them out with cleverly placed potholes and speed bumps. In fact, my first act as VP will be to surround that country entirely with potholes and speed bumps. It'll be like trying to invade Chicago!"
"And that's your strategy against Yugoslavia?"
"If you want to pick a winner in that war, I would go with whatever country produces the most potholes and speed bumps per capita.”
“Preemptively wiping out another country’s military seems more like a conservative plan. Don’t you think you would be a better VP for a republican like McCain?”
“Who?”
[LOBO]"He's not calling," says Terri.
"Of course he's calling," I insist. "You remember the now-historic interview I had with Barack. We had a real moment there.”
“You don’t think he would have called you by now?”
“I'm sure he's very busy. Who else would Barack pick as VP? Do you think he wants Don Lewis to win?"
“What about John McCain?”
“Oh come on. Nobody is seriously voting a fast food clown in for president.”
“That’s Ronald McDonald. John McCain is a decorated war vet, and-“
“Which war?”
“Vietnam.”
“Did he win?”
“Well-"
“He must have won,” I reflect. “He also survived the subsequent World Wars One and Two. That’s impressive.”
“What?”
“They name wars alphabetically so history students don’t have a hard time.”
“Really.”
“Yes. That’s why we’re never moving to Yugoslavia.”
“Because we’re going to have a war there?”
“They will probably retool all those Yugo factories to build tanks, but we can wipe them out with cleverly placed potholes and speed bumps. In fact, my first act as VP will be to surround that country entirely with potholes and speed bumps. It'll be like trying to invade Chicago!""And that's your strategy against Yugoslavia?"
"If you want to pick a winner in that war, I would go with whatever country produces the most potholes and speed bumps per capita.”
“Preemptively wiping out another country’s military seems more like a conservative plan. Don’t you think you would be a better VP for a republican like McCain?”
“Who?”
Comments
papercages: Even better than Sean Hannity!?
Speedcat: Actually, you will be in charge of the entire Motor Pool.
(No diving)
:)