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[LOBO]

Ugh.

I’m burned out on the “Midwest”.

Seriously.

One has only to Google “Midwest” to realize nobody knows where this place really even is. Middle of what? West of what?

-Imagine my chagrin to discover that in my adulthood I would grow to agree with the gnarly-toed hippopotamus woman that taught Geography in elementary school, and demand a little more commitment and resolution when it comes to my national regions!

California -where my lovely wife is from- continues to seize upon my imagination. I mean why should I deny myself the incalculable wealth and fame of such glamorous celebrities as Leonardo DiCaprio, Paris Hilton and Diesel?

And as the first blogger to have debunked tornados, why not continue on to debunk earthquakes as well?

… The scientific import alone warrants this debate.


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Simon Jester said…
You will be pleased to know that we in the "West" think of you as being in the "East"
8:38 PM
LOBO said…
But on the North Pole, your compass would be like WTF?!!
8:49 PM
Speedcat Hollydale said…
Hollydale is the epicenter of the Midwest. Google is dum
10:44 PM
Rickey said…
Landlocked areas are most definitely not your friend. Get you ass out to a coat (be it east or west) and proceed to live the good life. You'll feel exponentially better and harken back to a blissful time when people were shorter and lived down the the water.
7:29 AM
Meg said…
I'm from the Midwest and we are not landlocked. Some of us are surrounded by those huge lakes. So what if they're polluted.
8:17 AM
Bee said…
LOBO, Rickey wants you to grab a coat but don't listen cuz you'll sweat to death. ;o)
10:18 AM
Deb said…
I am from the Northeast. There is no Midwest, no Mideast, no West, no South, no Mid South, and there is no East unless you go to China. There is only the Northeast, land of the no R's and wicked good seafood. Oh, there might be a Middle Earth, but I'll have to get back to you on that. There was a book/movie North and South, but that's fiction. Oh my. Too much coffee.

BTW, thank you for the tornado info. I always figured that's what blew through my son's room. Good to know he's just a slob.
12:31 PM
Rickey said…
In Rickey's book, landlocked = not being near an ocean. Lakes don't count goddamnit! As someone mentioned above, access to seafood is a must.
3:31 PM
Nanny Goats In Panties said…
Clearly the Midwest was so named before things like California came along. If you go to a US map, point to the middle of it and go a little west, how the hell does Chicago try to sneak in there?
11:42 PM
Nanny Goats In Panties said…
and another thing....thanks for adding me to your blog roll!
11:42 PM
Shelley said…
Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only one who is confused by this whole "midwest" thing. This has always bothered me. I'm in Arizona, and Illinois and Wisconsin and whatever you all want to refer to as the "midwest?" That is EAST man...EAST. Way east. If you draw a vertically down the center of the U.S., it's all east. I always thought the midwest should be like...Colorado. Because it's in the middle of the west. But what the hell do I know?
11:13 AM
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