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Mounting pressure from work to “dress for success” has forced me to do some shopping.

Evidently, they want me in disguise as somebody ‘respectable’.

This is no small feat for a guy who has procrastinated buying shoes for six months; for years, I have blown into Wal-Mart and bought 32X32 “loose fit” Levis and three-packs of T-shirts, finishing my annual clothes shopping –without even trying anything on—in maybe four minutes and for about eight bucks. I don’t know anything about clothes and colors and whatever, and now I gotta learn how to dress like a grown-up virtually overnight.

It was clear I needed help.

A small squad of concerned friends enlisted, and I got dragged to the mall.

I got khakis, ties, cardigans, shoes, belts, aftershave, and dark socks. And of course I hadda “polarize”; we continued on to spiff coats, gloves, scarf, boots and so on.

And after $1,100, wanna know what I’m wearing to work tomorrow?

Wal-Mart and bought 32X32 “loose fit” Levis and a T-shirt.

Well, at least I got my fucking shoes.

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