Predator Press
There were a few "happy accidents" that caused this blog.
The first was the actual
inception.
***
I used to be an insurance company "claims processor". My job, it soon occurred, was to find ways to deny insurance claims.
In my third year, some of my 'clients' were dead.
I knew them by name; I was familiar with their families.
Like anyone else that suddenly discovers their previously unknown rather ghoulish occupation, I started doing the heroic thing: I started fucking off at work. I remember blowing through about sixty claims an hour for maybe a month, approving every last one.
I got
bonuses for record productivity.
In my ample spare time, I wrote gag "Official Company Memorandum", and push-pinned them neatly onto the company bulletin boards. Then I evolved to fake cutout newspaper articles about coworkers getting abducted by aliens.
For some reason, the company fired me.
The guy I base "Ethan" on drove me home after I was kicked off the premises.
We became fast friends.
And it's that same guy that courageously posted first on our "brainchild", in an effort to keep me writing.
***
The
second "Accident" was filling out an
online dating questionnaire.
Predator Press already existed, but it felt
constrained. At the time, it was a blog as blogs are generally defined. In many ways, "LOBO" owes his mere existence over just plain snarky angst.
I kinda blew through the dating site profile questions, mildly amused; they all required answers like "long walks on the beach" and "cuddling with puppies". Bored, I thought it would be funny to fill out the whole thing like I was too stupid to know when I was supposed to
lie. And having committed to the fantasy fully, I saw that writing like an honest and articulate five-year-old can be just plain
liberating.
Thusly, "LOBO", the Snarquis de Sade is born.
And the girl that answered the ad?
I'm marrying her soon.
:)
Predator Press
