[LOBO]
a quarter from Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki's ear.
Saturday
Census Reveals More Horses Asses Than Horses
Predator Press
[LOBO]
President George W. Bush prepares to mysteriously withdraw
a quarter from Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki's ear.
[LOBO]
a quarter from Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki's ear.
Landmark 'Halliburton v. Blackwater' Suit Filed
Predator Press
[LOBO]
"As you can see by my charts and graphs, Blackwater
currently holds the marketing edge due to disproportionate
liberties only enjoyed by MicroSoft and Pepsi."
[LOBO]
currently holds the marketing edge due to disproportionate
liberties only enjoyed by MicroSoft and Pepsi."
Hindsight is 50/50
Predator Press
[LOBO]
You know, when we were nominated "Worst Blog of All Time", we figured we were pretty safe.
I mean, maybe we couldn't hold onto #1 forever, but we might drift into the 'Top Ten' from time to time and give 'ole www.virusspammingchickswithdicks.com a decent run for their sticky money.
[LOBO]You know, when we were nominated "Worst Blog of All Time", we figured we were pretty safe.
I mean, maybe we couldn't hold onto #1 forever, but we might drift into the 'Top Ten' from time to time and give 'ole www.virusspammingchickswithdicks.com a decent run for their sticky money.
Thursday
Jesse Jackson Calls for Halloween Boycott
Predator Press
[LOBO]
"Unlucky!" he says. "That is how the black cat is regarded. And how is the 'black cat' always depicted? Riding on the back of the luxurious broom of some elitist green witch."
"This is just another example of the white cat exploiting the black cat, just as he has with the Siamese and the Calico. Heck, I'll bet the white cat will breed a blue cat and a green cat so's he can exploit a purple cat, and then have completely exploited the entire cat spectrum! Catch your mice my ass."
"--Wait. What color are those mice?"
[LOBO]"Unlucky!" he says. "That is how the black cat is regarded. And how is the 'black cat' always depicted? Riding on the back of the luxurious broom of some elitist green witch."
"This is just another example of the white cat exploiting the black cat, just as he has with the Siamese and the Calico. Heck, I'll bet the white cat will breed a blue cat and a green cat so's he can exploit a purple cat, and then have completely exploited the entire cat spectrum! Catch your mice my ass."
"--Wait. What color are those mice?"
Saturday
Movers and Shakers
Predator Press
[LOBO]
As previously discussed in a post named Zen,
Ethan owns a small orphanage in Newark.
I manage it.
... As successful entrepreneurs, we feel it's important to give back to the community.
So when we were invited to the awards ceremony to celebrate our nomination for "Most Profitable Orphanage of the Year" we thought Oh cool, a free meal!
***
Tricking me to get there an hour before the food was served made me cranky. I mean I'm already a notable benefit to the community and enormous asset to the Nation; there's no need to drag me out to some ceremony where billionaire hot chicks can just plot and plan for me to be their "arm candy" like I'm just some piece of meat. I don't need affirmation, thank you; I get enormous satisfaction out just simply helping out those poor kids and turning out an untaxable $420,000 in annual profit.
Once inside, my ears were instantly assaulted by a live samba band in the lobby, afflicting the dense crowd of aristocrats with a horrific, offbeat stabbing sound.
--The maraca player was either drunk, or a completely ill-timed incompetent idiot.
Instantly grabbing a champaign bottle by the neck, I shatter it on a nearby marble statue and rush the stage so I can plunge the glistening, jagged edges deeply into the bastards throat. "You butcher!" I scream. You don't shake maracas, you blend maracas!"
While security held me back at first, the crowd had already turned on the inept hack; I was soon rushed up to try and rescue the performance. The lead singer tried to hand me his beastly maracas, and I almost reflexively spat on them. It was then I opened my briefcase and cried into the microphones, "Behold!"
As the lead singer's eyes adjusted to the glowing light, his jaw dropped.
I unsecured my maracas from the inside of the case.
They are hand carved from genuine elephant tusk ivory, inlaid in gold, and are filled with naturally mummified panda embryos.
... Halfway through 'Copa Cabana', members of the audience were weeping.
[LOBO]
As previously discussed in a post named Zen,
Ethan owns a small orphanage in Newark.I manage it.
... As successful entrepreneurs, we feel it's important to give back to the community.
So when we were invited to the awards ceremony to celebrate our nomination for "Most Profitable Orphanage of the Year" we thought Oh cool, a free meal!
Tricking me to get there an hour before the food was served made me cranky. I mean I'm already a notable benefit to the community and enormous asset to the Nation; there's no need to drag me out to some ceremony where billionaire hot chicks can just plot and plan for me to be their "arm candy" like I'm just some piece of meat. I don't need affirmation, thank you; I get enormous satisfaction out just simply helping out those poor kids and turning out an untaxable $420,000 in annual profit.
Once inside, my ears were instantly assaulted by a live samba band in the lobby, afflicting the dense crowd of aristocrats with a horrific, offbeat stabbing sound.
--The maraca player was either drunk, or a completely ill-timed incompetent idiot.
Instantly grabbing a champaign bottle by the neck, I shatter it on a nearby marble statue and rush the stage so I can plunge the glistening, jagged edges deeply into the bastards throat. "You butcher!" I scream. You don't shake maracas, you blend maracas!"
While security held me back at first, the crowd had already turned on the inept hack; I was soon rushed up to try and rescue the performance. The lead singer tried to hand me his beastly maracas, and I almost reflexively spat on them. It was then I opened my briefcase and cried into the microphones, "Behold!"
As the lead singer's eyes adjusted to the glowing light, his jaw dropped.
I unsecured my maracas from the inside of the case.
They are hand carved from genuine elephant tusk ivory, inlaid in gold, and are filled with naturally mummified panda embryos.
... Halfway through 'Copa Cabana', members of the audience were weeping.
Friday
Steve Fosset Searchers Find 200 Other Crash Sites
Predator Press
[LOBO]
According to CNN, the search for Steve Fossett may provide clues to 200 other lost crash sites.
First let me say that in the unlikely I ever disappear in an airplane, dont fuck around: get those guys to look for me.
But at 200 people per, my calculatrons indicate that by losing a mere 117 more millionaires more we could solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle once and for all.
I'm recommending Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for starters.
... Wouldn't it make for a kickass reunion episode of "The Simple Life"?
[LOBO]According to CNN, the search for Steve Fossett may provide clues to 200 other lost crash sites.
First let me say that in the unlikely I ever disappear in an airplane, dont fuck around: get those guys to look for me.
But at 200 people per, my calculatrons indicate that by losing a mere 117 more millionaires more we could solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle once and for all.
I'm recommending Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for starters.
... Wouldn't it make for a kickass reunion episode of "The Simple Life"?
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Predator Press [LOBO] Yes it's totally true. There is now, in fact, a $14.95 Bionic Ear . And I'm not even going to g...
