Predator Press
[LOBO]
“Look,” says RDO. “If you wanted to be an astronaut so bad, why did you give NASA this obviously phony letter of recommendation from Stephen Hawking?”
“Stephen Hawking and I grew up together,” says me. “We met in 4-H. It was good times. We used to road-load on the tractor and throw empty Boonesfarm bottles at the Chess Club while they were playing Dungeons and Dragons.”
“This letter is handwritten. In crayon.”
“That whole wheelchair thing is an act. It’s like his gimmick. In reality, we play racquetball every Tuesday and Thursday. And you should see the tail that guy pulls down … it’s fucking amazing. Whenever the guy mentions the ‘Planck’s Law’ or ‘quantum flux’, you can almost hear soggy panties hit the floor.”
Saturday
Friday
The Final Frontier
Predator Press
[LOBO]
”I just don’t believe practice makes perfect. I think practice makes you just like everyone else. And that’s why I’m underlining this as one of my unique qualifications for the job.”
--Something in that sentence costed me my astranot gig with NASA.
[LOBO]
”I just don’t believe practice makes perfect. I think practice makes you just like everyone else. And that’s why I’m underlining this as one of my unique qualifications for the job.”
--Something in that sentence costed me my astranot gig with NASA.
Thursday
Tinker
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Admittedly, I’ve been “cheesing out” on the writing lately, and causing somewhat of a dial-up pile-up with all the pictures.
But while millions and millions of Luddite readers merely bitched and moaned, I was spending countless hours trying to build the Predator Press site map.
A “site map”, Lady Pyrate explained to me, is a series of HTML code that makes your site search-friendly to Google and Yahoo robots and spiders.
Now, call me crazy, but robots and spiders will buy less of this crappy Predator Press merchandise than even you ... and my house is already piled to the sky with crates of baseball caps and T-shirts.
It's very simple if you think about it:
a) Robots look lousy in the sweaters, and are not even approved to have Paypal accounts yet, and
2) spiders are just plain icky.
[LOBO]
Admittedly, I’ve been “cheesing out” on the writing lately, and causing somewhat of a dial-up pile-up with all the pictures.
But while millions and millions of Luddite readers merely bitched and moaned, I was spending countless hours trying to build the Predator Press site map.
A “site map”, Lady Pyrate explained to me, is a series of HTML code that makes your site search-friendly to Google and Yahoo robots and spiders.
Now, call me crazy, but robots and spiders will buy less of this crappy Predator Press merchandise than even you ... and my house is already piled to the sky with crates of baseball caps and T-shirts.
It's very simple if you think about it:
a) Robots look lousy in the sweaters, and are not even approved to have Paypal accounts yet, and
2) spiders are just plain icky.
Tuesday
49th Annual Grammy Coverage
Predator Press
If I had this outfit, I would walk around in blizzards just to freak people out.
... I'll bet I could take out major intersections with a single verse of "The Macarena".
Monday
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