Ask LOBO: Bad Gamma Jamma

LOBO -Predator Press

About halfway into "Thor: Ragnarok," I realized I was crushing on -not Cate Blanchett- but Hela. Having had a similar experience with the "Suicide Squad" villain Enchantress, it invited some mind-blowing introspection.

[I'm not attracted to goth. And Cara Delevingne, admittedly, is not exactly in my age demographic. But Suicide Squad's "Enchantress" demon(?), is like probably older than dirt anyway.]

My first thought is always now this is a woman that gets shit done. No more hassle by airport security for yours truly aka "God's football," lest ye be smoten. And standing in line too long at a grocery store? Pow! Free Slurpees for everyone!

And then I went all swoony.

-I "get" Hela.

Sure there would be downsides to dating her. TV dinners for all Eternity. And I'll bet the damned shower drain hair filter alone would be a nightmare. Toenail clippings that could shoot through concrete walls would probably change my insurance rates significantly. But can you imagine the sex? She is effectively a timeless goddess, and I am pretty open to new things. I'll just double down on the calcium so my pelvis holds up as long as possible.

This says a lot about me and past relationships. I'm not capable of that kind of aggression, so maybe it is a yin and yang thing I never noticed in myself before. An excuse for terrible evil for which I can participate, yet be divorced from on a karmic level. Maybe that is the whole new scale of evil.

I would protect her.