Scorpion Kick

LOBO -Predator Press

Got some [really] bad advice a few years ago, and lost my anonymity by merging Facebook and Google.  Now, despite this being a fictional blog, everyone started superimposing their shit on what I write.  Co-workers I just met insist stories I wrote years before are based on them.  As a consequence of an errant Google search, a girl, concluding I must be the only "lobo" on the internet, asked me who "lobowife" was.

WTF?

It's really hard to create in circumstances like that.  It has accelerated divorces, caused issues at work, and really eroded my sense of humor in general.  I feel like I enjoyed a great, unrestrained run, and now I find myself burning calories making more and more explanations.  What was once a fun and cathartic adventure has me all too often comforting unnecessarily bruised egos.  Complicating matters is, yes, some scenarios are inspired by real life.  But what writer does not draw from experience?  With the anonymity removed, no matter how hard I cloud things, people will be able to "connect the dots."  Anchored at least partially in reality by yours truly, the accusations and allegations will never end.

This comes up now because I am sinking some major coin into my podcast project.  I just ordered microphones and the soundboard, and a suitable computer to run it.  The expensive software is daunting.  Thinking forward, it will only get worse: at some point I will need a formal studio built for the live feeds.  Hours of phone calls about the commercial applications and legalese that yield more questions than answers ... this is much more difficult than I ever guessed.

And I'm not complaining.  Seriously, I really enjoy it.  I haven't felt this engaged in something in over a decade.  But last night, poring over technical manuals, it occurred to me I was making all the same mistakes again.  If this thing succeeds, people will respond to the energy -and the wrong people will -at best inadvertently- work to fuck it up.  I've spent decades learning to accept and deal with my own faults and eccentricities, but nothing can prepare me to deal with everyone else's.

So I think I'm starting over.  A new blog, a podcast independent of my beloved Predator Press, a new nom de plume and "persona" altogether.  They can, after all, always be unified in the future, but I don't really see why they ever would at this point.

I'm excited at the idea of a 'reboot.'