The Alabaster Battlemaster

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Discovering I was down to 12 heartbeats an hour, Doctor Nyarlathotep grew concerned and tested my blood.

"Playing Battlefield 2 sixteen hours a day is terrible for your health," he points out. "You need sunlight. I can see the organs pulsing through your skin."

"Really?" I says, squinting under the harsh lighting of the examination room. "I hadn't noticed."

And as always, my blood got an A+ ... clearly showing an intellectual superiority over all the other stupid and inferior bloods.

"-that I'm sent from above. I'm not that innocent! Oops I did it again ... I played with your heart-"

A disbelieving Nurse Garrison lowers her stethoscope.

"You swallowed your iPod again, didn't you?"

"Maybe," I reply.