Hoping for Leniency, Predator Press Gets 2010 Lawsuits in Early

Predator Press

[LOBO]

So I’m sitting here without a topic.

And I just did my old standby when I got nothing, farts, yesterday.

I could be in real trouble here.

Oh sure, I suppose I could talk about holiday stuff. Like when my neighbor subtly slipped me a green, leafy substance in a cellophane baggie -roughly the size and weight of a mouse- and said “Merry Christmas” with a winking grin.

I could write about how I got drugs for Christmas maybe.

I don’t know what getting drugs for Christmas says about a person really, but I can tell you my whole “Naughty or Nice” thing is totally screwed up, and that Hostess™ products are one of the most highly underrated products on the market today. I did draft an in-depth post about it, but I don’t think I’ll ever publish ”And That’s How the Quasars Pissed Off the Unicorns,” as it is a deeply personal account of my personal relationship with breakfast cereal mascots in the wane.

But I don’t want to get too cerebral here, either … I guess my point is I did conquer my writer’s block, so I won’t ruin millions and millions of Predator Press fans’ Christmas after all.

Because I remembered that the Predator Press Man of the Year is coming up.

So far, I’ve got Perez Hilton and last year’s undefeated winner Larry Craig. I don’t know what I’ll do if Larry Craig wins again … Larry Craig has almost ruined the whole Predator Press Man of the Year franchise with his successive victories, making me a very lazy –yet undeniably sexy- satirist. I don’t think Larry Craig should win again. But that’s just me; I can only do what The People mandate, you know?

I should point out that we have numerous new candidates this year to be nominated, and many blogs that had their shit together would have probably have enumerated them by December 26th already. But those well-regimented and organized blogs written by highly-disciplined and deadline-oriented people probably suck.

Tiger Woods, for instance, would be a great candidate. Or how about my personal nominee Randy Quaid?

Oh c’mon … there’s something hilarious about how we want the same government to find Osama Bin Laden that can’t find the guy from Christmas Vacation.