[LOBO]In May of 2007, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail only to be released after serving 50 hours. After much public outcry and drama, she was returned –ultimately serving a total of 23 days.
And admittedly I’d already been a Paris hater for years. It started with “The Simple Life” -a FOX Network reality show starring her and some other similarly vapid frosted flake I can’t remember, explicitly engineered to ridicule and humiliate the American working class.
That said, let’s skip ahead to a week ago. I had to renew my expiring driver’s license –including a CDL which cost me a month of intensive training and roughly $4,500.
While relieved it wasn’t the four hour ordeal I’ve grown to expect from the DMV it was all for nothing anyway: despite having no criminal record at all, my still-valid license, birth certificate copy, SS card, apartment lease, car title, marriage license -and my legally-verifyable wife Terri standing right beside me- the California DMV "could not help."
-My Birth Certificate wasn’t certified. Born in Chicago, my certified Birth Certificate would have to be attained via Illinois ... Even if I spent a fortune it would take a week.
I was told “tough luck,” and subsequently have no legal identification or driver's license –and that $4,500 CDL potential source of income? Bye-bye. I have to take written tests, driving tests -everything all over again.
Well I apparently went to the wrong DMV altogether: according to TMV [story linked here], in Santa Monica it was prearranged for Paris Hilton -criminal record and Probation in tow- not to wait in any lines at all, take five photos, and all employees were ordered to turn their cellphones off so no other photos got leaked. All this was done during regular business hours, and right in front of clearly less-important people such as ourselves.As far as DMVs go, Santa Monica appears so uncharacteristically accommodating I think maybe I’ll provide a few links to the relevant agencies. What a fine example! They should be contacted so their unique Customer Service insights be shared, and we can enjoy the same treatment at all DMVs across this Great Nation:
2235 Colorado Avenue
Santa Monica, 90404
(800)777-0133
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
California State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
Phone: 916-445-2841
Fax: 916-445-4633
12 comments:
They do the same for me at the local DMV. Unfortunately, that's only to protect the innocent citizens from getting caught in the crossfire when SWAT slides in and gets me for all my unpaid parking tickets.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. That bites!
Wow, that bites. I wish my Daddy was a hotel mogul and I never had to hold down a real job a day in my life, but alas he was a mere firefighter, putting his life on the line daily in service to the community. But I can see how having a sex tape, hollywood clubbing, driving under the influence and sporting negative pressure between the ears trumps all that.
DG: If I happened to be there for the Hilton spectacle, there woulda been a body count.
Stephanie: I know you think I'm a miso-whatsit, and I was reluctant to post this after picking on Sotomayer (sort of) ... but AARGHHH!!!
Jamie: I just get madder an madder at this. I swear to God if I could podcast, I would post me crank-calling the Cali DMV and the Governor's office over 'an over.
-Didn't we have a tea party and a war over bullshit like this a few centuries ago???
Screw it.
Monday I'm gonna call and demand 5 photos, not to stand in line, and that everybody has their phones turned off "just like Santa Monica does."
It's on.
-Stay tuned.
I actually want to go to the local DMV and demand it... if I can get Shiftless to film it, I'll put it on YouTube.
Just act like you are gay and own the place. That's all the superficial class wants...somebody "important" gracing their door.
LOBO, I don't wish anyone ill and I know that red tape is absolutely frustrating at times even when it doesn't cost you thousands of dollars.
And I like you.
Well. That's just awful. I hate being treated like a commoner. And I hate having to deal with the DMV. They're so...so...erm...governmentized.
Is Paris, like, um, holding invisible dark matter penises? Just curious.
I've never been in a DMV where the employees weren't completely useless dicks. Especially the small one in my hometown. Those bitches behind the counter thoroughly enjoy being as rude as possible.
Don: *sigh* Liberace would never have let this happen.
Stephanie: What is it you like most? Is it my reluctance to kick puppies? Or my still-dry sack of cats?
Leeuna: I get really mad at this crap. It's obviously me ... cripes I've got a 1/4 of an inch-thick folder of docs proving it.
Terri and I went back there yesterday with the stuff they demanded, and they found another way not to help. This story will be re-visited shortly.
Bunk Struts: haha!!!! I have no idea. I don't get it ... physically –if I’m generous- she's a "6" on a scale of 1-10, about as intellectually amusing as the difference between white and brown rice, and the entertainment equivalent of Jim Belushi.
Ah fuck it. I don’t want to write about her anymore. I’m going to go boil my fingertips.
otherworldlyone: These guys are worse. They’re nice about it. “I’m so very sorry, but …”
-At least have the decency to be a straight-up asshole.
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