In a Nutshell

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Being a smoldering highly-desired ripped physical specimen such as myself has drawbacks, and people tend to assume I’m, you know, all brawn and no brains.

I can hardly fault them: an Adonis-like physique such as mine might suggest I spend far more time in the gym than “cracking the books.” This misconception has plagued me my entire life, and all throughout the 80's and 90’s I’ve had to beat up Billy Zabka, like, fifty times.

Well I’m tired of beating up Billy Zabka. And at this point I’m unable to guarantee Bily Zabka’s safety the next time he screws with me in the locker room -or tries to mess up my wife Terri’s mind with his twisted macho crap. (Do you hear me Billy Zabka? If I hear one more cheap knockoff of Kenny Loggins' “Danger Zone,” you’re a dead man.)

So I need some intellectual “credentials” to prove I’m not just Terri’s hot, chiseled boy-toy dripping with manliness -and that’s why I’ve just enrolled for my online triple degree in Criminal Justice, Pulmonary Surgery and Psychiatry.

“Honey,” I argued. “It’s for us.”

“Us?” she demanded.

“Well excuse me. I think $1,100 of your hard-earned money is well worth our continued marital bliss.”

“But these things are rip offs!” she screamed.

“This one isn’t. I specifically asked the woman on the phone if it was a rip off. She said it wasn't."

As her eyes roll, I snort.

"Jesus Christ, I didn't order a Nordic Track."