How to Handle Cambridge Cops
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Now I wasn’t there, so let me have said up front I don’t know the facts surrounding the arrest of Henry Louis Gates Jr. But I do know firsthand that cops –on occasion- lie.
Still, I’m not here to judge -I’m simply weighing in with some helpful tips so we can avoid these circumstances in the future.
#1) Don’t Be Black and in Cambridge: I’m not saying you can’t be black or in Cambridge ... I’m just saying you shouldn’t be both at the same time.
#2) If You Can’t Avoid Being Simultaneously Black and in Cambridge, Work a Career-Oriented Lie: You know, like tell the cops you’re really a white chimney sweep on your way home from work. (An Asian chimney sweep is also acceptable, but be prepared to answer a lot of rapid-fire algebra questions.)
#3) Convince the Police You Are Not in Cambridge At All: Quickly erect a scale replica of the Eiffel Tower or the Sphinx, and start taking snapshots.-With sensitivity, a heightened awareness and a little planning, we can continue in the racial harmony we've grown accustomed to over the past several hundred years.
Comments
One of my goals in life is to be in a situation where I can use that line.
Jamie: The whole thing is weird. I would have been grateful the cops were trying to look out for my place. But there are claims Gates presented two picture IDs.
I dunno. I'm glad Obama's on it though .. we can expect lots of flowery euphamisms that suggest a solution is expected anytime.
(Why the f-- is Obama involved in this provincial crap anyway? Is he bored?)
Mark: The Defendant's right to repeatedly fall down the stairs was never violated. Nor was his right to "Stop Hitting Yourself, Stop Hitting Yourself," which was waived on numerous occasions ...
On the flipside, I think it's hilarious that of all people this cop hits, he hits a Harvard lecturer on racial profiling.
Haw!!!
David: (I'm assuming that comment is for me) Yeah I know. But he's "Big League," and should know better. I never trust information until some reasonable discourse has transpired, and that goes double for personal freinds that tend to be on the fiery side.