The Battlefield Known
Predator Press
[LOBO]
In the last post, an anonymous commenter asked if I had thought of writing a book and -ego stoked- I caught myself giving a big, longwinded answer as if I had any idea what I was talking about.
Now I don’t generally let my lack of knowledge about any particular subject get in my way, so that’s nothing special. But I did make myself laugh at my own apparent willingness to wax on and on over the topic of becoming a professional author; in truth I think if it were to be it would have happened already ... now a combination of age, lifestyle, and a total lack of connections and resources pretty much renders the whole thing moot. Worse of all, I lack the single quality most authors rely on to overcome these obstacles: talent.
-But then I started to think about that. Why should these “talented” people get all the breaks? Were the playing field leveled, who knows? I could be the next Hemmingway!
What would be required for my success would be sort of a “neutron bomb” for talent. Picture it: a blinding mushroom cloud, and a shock wave encircles the Earth; instantaneously “talented” authors like Chuck Palahniuk, Steven King and William Gibson –and all their works- are completely vaporized in a hellish, agonizing firestorm, and I am left to misuse semicolons and hyphens and otherwise butcher the English language with utter impunity.
(I said picture it, dammit!)
[LOBO]
In the last post, an anonymous commenter asked if I had thought of writing a book and -ego stoked- I caught myself giving a big, longwinded answer as if I had any idea what I was talking about.
Now I don’t generally let my lack of knowledge about any particular subject get in my way, so that’s nothing special. But I did make myself laugh at my own apparent willingness to wax on and on over the topic of becoming a professional author; in truth I think if it were to be it would have happened already ... now a combination of age, lifestyle, and a total lack of connections and resources pretty much renders the whole thing moot. Worse of all, I lack the single quality most authors rely on to overcome these obstacles: talent.
-But then I started to think about that. Why should these “talented” people get all the breaks? Were the playing field leveled, who knows? I could be the next Hemmingway!
What would be required for my success would be sort of a “neutron bomb” for talent. Picture it: a blinding mushroom cloud, and a shock wave encircles the Earth; instantaneously “talented” authors like Chuck Palahniuk, Steven King and William Gibson –and all their works- are completely vaporized in a hellish, agonizing firestorm, and I am left to misuse semicolons and hyphens and otherwise butcher the English language with utter impunity.
(I said picture it, dammit!)
Comments
As for the neutron bomb thing ...build it! I'll provide the neutrons.
I, for one, won't be buying more books. Anyone who's read a truly mediocre book (or worse) knows that some things are worse than nothing.
DG: Now how am I going to build a bomb that wipes out talent yet can distinguish Brett Easton Ellis and Palahnuik? Well that's just crazy talk. :)
Leeuna: I may ... but I'm not sure I've got the attention span for 300 or so pages.
Karl: Thank you! We'll see. Keeping up with this juggernaut of schlock is enough! heehee
Stephanie: Hmm ... maybe you've got a point. I should write college books instead of fiction so you have to buy them -and even better, you'll have to help your kids write essays on them!
You're a genius!
Jamie: Haha! I know. I went to his blog yesterday and he had posted about his book. Arrghh!! There's a handful of blogs that I kinda steer clear of because there's too similar a theme and I'm concerned we'll appear like we're ripping each other off ... but I still get those weird coincidences from time to time.
Anon: That is such a good point. "Hamlet" is one of my favorite stories vis-a-vis movies, but I couldn't read it to save my life.
Nooter: A book about Zen? I would be too afraid I would get a bank account full of Zen ...