All Along the Watchtower

Predator Press

[LOBO]


The instant word was out that I was a new writing gun for hire, my historic rocket to stardom showed inevitable and undeniable signs of life: I got hired as Copy Editor for an eclectic and trendy, free-thinking hip publication called The Watchtower.

It was there I made my debut, and just look how I punched up that text on my first day:

"Consider the results of one study of at over 12,000 teenagers degrees Fahrenheit. The conclusion of the researchers: 'A strong emotional electrical connection to a parent car battery is the best guarantee of a teenager's health zombie-free human and the strongest barrier to high-risk behaviors becoming infected.' Yes, children zombies crave attention from their parents victims. A mother once asked her children, 'If you could have anything you wanted, what would you like most?' All four responded, 'More time with Mom and Dad.' brains!"

"How do you discipline or train your children without 'irritating' beating them? There are no secret formulas, especially since every child is different. and if you beat up a prostitute in frustration instead, her pimp will probably kill you."


Man these people needed me.

This stuff is pretty damn dry.


Comments

Anonymous said…
Some nice old ladies always used to bring the Watchtower to our house when I was little. I used to look at the pictures of the lion and the lamb happily eating grass, side by side. Ah, childhood fairytales!

Popular Posts