High Tech Redneck

Predator Press

[LOBO]

The largest, most powerful and expensive industrial strength modern-day wood chippers all groaned and screamed to a violent halt when met with the RDO-engineered space alloys that make up Sapphire's seemingly soft, smooth flesh. This last one --the John Deere-- hissed and smoldered after violently blowing a hydraulic 200-ton counterweight; the keyboard melted to slag, and the electronics popped and whined themselves into a permanent, warranty-violated silence.

And, of course, everyone's pissed at me.

"You're an asshole!" she yells up at me, struggling to free her ankle.

"Well you're the one who keeps busting the machines!" I yell down from the control booth, indignant. "C'mon baby," I try vainly to reason through the smoke. "You're a wonderful person, and I really, really do care about you. I just want to be single for a while."

Wiping away a tear, she growls, "Then why were you pushing my head down with a broom?"

"You were dusty!" I repeat.