Love Machine
Predator Press
[Mr. I]
Ethan's idea worked so well, I didn't take the picture off until we got to the Fox studios. They still had to film the conclusion of Who Wants to Eat Bugs While Marrying a Millionaire?.
Immediately, the Fox techs start rigging him up with microphones.
"What's all this?" LOBO asks.
"They need to film the part where Lexus Hilton breaks it to you that she's not marrying you."
"Who?"
"Lexus Hilton--" I start. "Look, just forget it. Try to look disappointed."
Lexus, standing in front of a church altar in a dazzling white dress, takes this big dramatic pause while twirling a single rose in her fingertips. Looking over her two suitors for what seems like an eternity, the leggy beauty beams, "I choose you, Chip Intel."
"What!?" LOBO demanded. "You filthy whore! I loved you!" he sobs. "Well, don't you come crawlin back to me, you heartless, manipulative, two-timing, flea-ridden, disease-riddled, cum-guzzling gutter slut!"
"Cut!" yells the producer. "Print it. Cue the wedding music!"
"I thought you were special," LOBO continued. "--I thought what we had was special. But you rip out my heart and wring the blood out like a towel and then jump on it with stiletto heals and stuff it in a fiery garbage disposal instead ... ?!"
This went on for a while.
***
"... and eviscerate the remains of my heart in the super-collider, flushing the nerve endings down a sulfuric acid-filled toilet and blow-torching the leftover atomic particles into oblivion, and then dancing on the particles barefoot, squishing them between your spunk-contaminated monkey-masterbating toes ... !?"
"The wedding's been over for two hours, LOBO," I says gently, patting his shoulder. "She's gone. In fact, the crew's already done packing up and cleaning the set."
"You think she'll call?" he asks gloomily.
"Miss Hilton isn't good enough for you sir," consoles Napoleon.
"Who?"
[Mr. I]
Ethan's idea worked so well, I didn't take the picture off until we got to the Fox studios. They still had to film the conclusion of Who Wants to Eat Bugs While Marrying a Millionaire?.
Immediately, the Fox techs start rigging him up with microphones.
"What's all this?" LOBO asks.
"They need to film the part where Lexus Hilton breaks it to you that she's not marrying you."
"Who?"
"Lexus Hilton--" I start. "Look, just forget it. Try to look disappointed."
Lexus, standing in front of a church altar in a dazzling white dress, takes this big dramatic pause while twirling a single rose in her fingertips. Looking over her two suitors for what seems like an eternity, the leggy beauty beams, "I choose you, Chip Intel."
"What!?" LOBO demanded. "You filthy whore! I loved you!" he sobs. "Well, don't you come crawlin back to me, you heartless, manipulative, two-timing, flea-ridden, disease-riddled, cum-guzzling gutter slut!"
"Cut!" yells the producer. "Print it. Cue the wedding music!"
"I thought you were special," LOBO continued. "--I thought what we had was special. But you rip out my heart and wring the blood out like a towel and then jump on it with stiletto heals and stuff it in a fiery garbage disposal instead ... ?!"
This went on for a while.
"... and eviscerate the remains of my heart in the super-collider, flushing the nerve endings down a sulfuric acid-filled toilet and blow-torching the leftover atomic particles into oblivion, and then dancing on the particles barefoot, squishing them between your spunk-contaminated monkey-masterbating toes ... !?"
"The wedding's been over for two hours, LOBO," I says gently, patting his shoulder. "She's gone. In fact, the crew's already done packing up and cleaning the set."
"You think she'll call?" he asks gloomily.
"Miss Hilton isn't good enough for you sir," consoles Napoleon.
"Who?"
Comments
You forget Who? hahah My God LOBO I was moved to the bottom of my heart. What an Academy Award moment you deserve an Oscar for that performance..or at least an honorable mention...hahahah.