"... 'Fer Almost Losin' Us the Big One ... "?
Predator Press
[LOBO]
What is this obsession we have with suffering, dysfunctional pre-pubescent British kids as represented in the Amer'Kan box office?
First we had Harry Potter(s). Then Lemony Snickers' "A Series of Unfortunate Hollywood Budget Surpluses". Now C.S. Lewis' "The Lion, the Pale Skinny Pissed Broad and the Rainbow" or whatever. Al Pacino would've saved them Narnia Chronicles people a lot of time, just smacking the bejeezus out of the witch with her Turkish Surprise pan.
"Jou are so POLLUTED!"
Roll credits.
Look, even though I detest hearing them butcher our fine Amer'Kan language in these big epic-battle toting Hollywood special effects catalogs, the Brits have given us a LOT: The Sex Pistols. Sean Connery. An intellectual inferiority complex ...
... Oooh! Struck a nerve there, eh? Those pricks sound smarter'n us! So we'll let Hollywood make us up fantasies about 'em getting smashed to bits as kids. It's therapeutic, after all: we can't wage war on 'em with all these brown people still around to have wars with ... now that would be crazy.
Still, I suggest the next new threat to the US should be the Ahmish. [Wait, hear me out!] Just what exactly are these people doing with all that butter? C'mon ... long beard, no mustache; it's not exactly a look that pulls down the ladies in droves. And what the hell kind of maniac would want more than one wife? Jesus, isn't one woman living in a perpetual state of disappointment in you enough?
So you've got these hundred million sexually confused and frustrated Ahmish teenagers lookin' for trouble. Growing mustaches. Next thing you know, they're skipping school and secretly churning margarine. Cutting the good stuff with "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!", and putting it on unsuspecting people's muffins.
People's English muffins.
Following me here?
Yes folks, for the small price of, say, Utah we can once again be the conquerors we were destined to be. The world will be safe from the Weapons of Mass-Margarine, and we can go on clogging the arteries of the world with complete impunity, just as God intended.
[LOBO]
What is this obsession we have with suffering, dysfunctional pre-pubescent British kids as represented in the Amer'Kan box office?
First we had Harry Potter(s). Then Lemony Snickers' "A Series of Unfortunate Hollywood Budget Surpluses". Now C.S. Lewis' "The Lion, the Pale Skinny Pissed Broad and the Rainbow" or whatever. Al Pacino would've saved them Narnia Chronicles people a lot of time, just smacking the bejeezus out of the witch with her Turkish Surprise pan.
"Jou are so POLLUTED!"
Roll credits.
Look, even though I detest hearing them butcher our fine Amer'Kan language in these big epic-battle toting Hollywood special effects catalogs, the Brits have given us a LOT: The Sex Pistols. Sean Connery. An intellectual inferiority complex ...
... Oooh! Struck a nerve there, eh? Those pricks sound smarter'n us! So we'll let Hollywood make us up fantasies about 'em getting smashed to bits as kids. It's therapeutic, after all: we can't wage war on 'em with all these brown people still around to have wars with ... now that would be crazy.
Still, I suggest the next new threat to the US should be the Ahmish. [Wait, hear me out!] Just what exactly are these people doing with all that butter? C'mon ... long beard, no mustache; it's not exactly a look that pulls down the ladies in droves. And what the hell kind of maniac would want more than one wife? Jesus, isn't one woman living in a perpetual state of disappointment in you enough?
So you've got these hundred million sexually confused and frustrated Ahmish teenagers lookin' for trouble. Growing mustaches. Next thing you know, they're skipping school and secretly churning margarine. Cutting the good stuff with "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!", and putting it on unsuspecting people's muffins.
People's English muffins.
Following me here?
Yes folks, for the small price of, say, Utah we can once again be the conquerors we were destined to be. The world will be safe from the Weapons of Mass-Margarine, and we can go on clogging the arteries of the world with complete impunity, just as God intended.
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