If this is a Consular Ship, Where is the Ambassador?

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NASA Retires Space Shuttle "Atlanta" to Undisclosed Location

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Cat Crack on a Soap Salt Budget

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I found a half a pack of "Fuzzy Sticks" -kinda like really long pastel pipe cleaners.

For a full bag containing 100 the Walmart label says "$1.99."  The product code suggests they can be found in the Crafts Department, and the fact that Walmart has a "Crafts Department" is probably most profound thing in this post altogether.

Still, it started with me bouncing a "Fuzzy Stick" playfully off of Phil II's noggin.  Once I got her attention, she would try and catch the end.  And as she inevitably caught it here and there, random kinks and elbows would form in the wire ... only serving to make the thing more wobbly and unpredictable.

Ultimately I set it down, and she continued to play with it relentlessly for two hours straight, hopping on one bent end only to have the other rise.

-Thoroughly exhausted, she is now sound asleep.

HELP ME

After Four Days, Phil II Already Requires Catnip "Intervention"

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How Can Hearts Not Swell and Burst?

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Bein' Adopted is SOOO Exhausting

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Sex Offender

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"How come you haven't been going to work?" asks Barbarossa. "Did you get fired already?"

"No." I reply. "The Spanish Fly Industrial Complex closed down. Everyone is dead. I would be too if I hadn't called off sick my first day."

"What happened?"

"Apparently they tried my suggestion of using ionized water. This created the unexpected result of Spanish Fly that actually worked. What ensued was the most fantastic HAZMAT situation in history, and within two hours everyone died from severe trauma to the pelvis."

Barbarossa stares.

"I still get a check in the mail every two weeks," I shrug.

"Cool!"