Predator Press
[LOBO and guest Beau Horner]
Oh sure we celebrate firemen and police or whatever. But how often do these so-called "heroes" go toe-to-toe with fire breathing dragons and deadly balloon-like creatures sporting Oakleys?
Most people think that "The Dug's" contribution to Humankind is limited to gardening safety. But let me tell you pal Indiana Jones has nothing on this guy! Read The Nothing Report author Beau Horner's harrowing account of the unearthing of Cleopatra's tomb:
"Cleopatra, better known as 'Patty,' was discovered frozen in time in the infamous 'walk like an Egyptian' pose, underneath several layers of strata....apparently they're color coded now. The only person capable of traveling this far down into the earth was David Duchovny, A.K.A Dig Dug. All of his crew unfortunately was wearing over-sized goggles in the hopes of bringing some laughs to the party."-The fact that Dig Dug heralds employment for David Duchovny alone gives one a brief glimpse into the staggering influence Double-D has in our everyday lives.
But what would a world without this unsung hero actually look like? The Moon -once a lush tropical environment and a candidate for filming "Lost" episodes- is now a barren rock unsuitable even for people from Los Angeles.A tearful Duchovny recalls the events in chilling detail: "It was a war that couldn't be won. In that gravity instead of crushing the monsters the rocks would just bounce off -dammit they would just bounce off! Have you ever heard a Fygar laugh? It's terrifying. Hold me."
So here's to you, David "Dig Dug" Duchovny.
-May you live a long, full life fighting evil down there.
(Clicking the Lego icons immediately left and right will bring you to different amusing Dig Dug YouTube spoofs.)
