Wednesday

Weather Proves Difficult to Blame on Grossman


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Rex Grossman has more talent in his little finger than most of you armchair wanna-bees, and you so-called Bears "fans" outta be ashamed of yourselves for sarcastic crap like this.

Seriously.

According to our supercomputer, the Chicago Bears kick the crap out of the Yankees in every single Superbowl simulation.

I'm betting everything.


Friday

Out Go the Lights

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Those silly bastards at Comcast thought that I would be stupid enough to pay them $200 a month to insult their lousy online service to the rest of the world.

So due to a complete failure in negotiations, I've decided to go back to a far more prudent $9.95 56k Earthlink dial-up modem.

... Earthlink has a 5X Accelerator now!


Tuesday

Karma

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It's a little-known fact that for extra cash in college, I hacked porn sites for fellow students at $10 a pop.

I suppose that could be considered stealing.

So according to the theory -to cancel out the 'Bad Karma'- I have to do a selfless good deed. Well, more accurately I would have to go to all those sites and give them $10, and start taking up Feminist causes.

Screw that.

Here goes Plan "B".


***



See that guy on the right?

He was a cop whose third wife was found with her skull broken in a bathtub.

After an investigation, it was officially ruled an "Accidental Drowning".

The only reason this has even came to light is because now his fourth wife, pictured, is missing.

Ladies, please.

Stop marrying this man.

(There. I feel better. Don't you?)



90210 Doesn't Hold Up Against 1856

Predator Press

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