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Predator Press

Canadian Breakin'

Predator Press

[LOBO]

“How come you never mentioned you had an uncle in the National Hockey League?" Terri asks, pointing at the scrapbook picture.

“Well he wasn’t a very nice guy,” I says. “He was stubborn, over-achieving, and fiercely anti-symmetric.”

“But we aren’t Jewish.”

My Uncle had more hits than Wikipedia.

“No. He was fiercely anti-symmetric," I correct.  "He would come over at Thanksgiving and start stacking all the furniture in a corner.” I flip the page, and we see his laminated newspaper obituary. “It is widely suspected that's how he ended up dying in fact. While rearranging the zambonis at Philips Arena, he fell through the ice and drowned.”

“Huh," says Terri. "But I thought hockey rink ice was only a few inches thick?”

“Hence the ‘stubborn’ and ‘over-achieving’ part,” I shrug.