Is Chantix Designed to Drive You Insane?
[LOBO]
Now to be fair, I had a similar experience with Zyban several years ago. But thinking this was a different smoking cessation drug altogether, I wasn't expecting the same result: a gradual and subtle loss of sanity.
This time, however, my life was full of other explanations. Currently a Receiving Lead for a media distributor, I occasionally have to be "spiky." And I work six ten hour days every week with random days off: a lot of things such as irritability and errors could be explained by general fatigue.
But sometime around my second week (I was in my fifth as of yesterday), I would experience odd things like insomnia, and, infinitely worse, dreaming my alarm clock went off. Last Saturday, for instance, I made coffee, showered, and fiddle-fucked with my fantasy baseball team only to realize it was just after midnight.
My work-related error rates increased exponentially. And with only four days left at this job, I would still like to secure a good reference ... but my judgment was getting really odd and inaccurate. And while I've never been late a single time in three years, I was late twice last week.
I stopped taking Chantix yesterday, but I feel like I owe a lot of apologies. I did a lot of dumb and mean and inexplicable shit. The biggest of which was at my soon-to-be ex wife Terri Sellay and her new squeeze, and it was EPIC douchebaggery on my part: imagine the worst, and multiply that by Wes Craven. What was I thinking? Until a few days ago, I was holding out some hope that the marriage could somehow be worked out, only to find out she's moved on to a new guy who is superior to me in virtually every way (except the hair. I have great hair, to the point that it's not fair to compare me with other mortals).Still, FUCK. She's happy?
-Well, you can guess the rest. It was a perfect storm of fuzzy Chantix-laced logic and crippling heartache. I embarrassed myself, and only after being a total dick realized I have no business trying to stomp on their happiness.
Well shit. I'm moving and starting a new job, and dropping Chantix like a hot rock. And I promised to never contact my ex again -a promise very difficult to keep because I am so sorry for the way I behaved.
But I hope someday she randomly googles her name and finds this post, my apology to them both, and my hopes they stay this happy forever.
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