Here. Have a Migraine.
@SnarquisdeSade
Just like all the other greatest minds of our time, I have pondered the enigma of "Dark Matter." But unlike those other dumbasses, I figured it out during a rerun of "Happy Days." It was during the episode where The Fonz entered a demolition derby, and Pinky Tuscadero was nearly killed. (I'm not going to elaborate here on my research methods as the science would bore you to tears. Suffice to say, fuck the Mallachi Brothers.)
If the universe is expanding at the speed of light, suppose one side (point "A") watches the opposite side (point "B") race away faster than the speed of light.
So if matter and time and energy are all interrelated, maybe we are watching ancient photons escape faster than it can be witnessed in a "linear" sense, and taking on the illusion of physical properties such as mass and time.
So kiss my ass Stephen Hawking.
-You pussy.
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