Excuses, Excuses
Predator Press
[LOBO]
“Has it ever occurred to you,” she says, clacking her pen open, “that selfless acts -acts of charity and serving Humanity- are among the best ways to overcome many of your phobias and neurosi?”
Clack
“Even my Cryohydrotachophobia?” I am somewhat enthused. "And by the way, it is neuroses."
"What?"
"Neuroses is plural for Neurosis."
"It's not neurosi?"
“No."
"But this illustrates another issue,” she counters. I hear a notebook gently flap against the floor, and the crackling, new lamination optimistically removed from another. “You have a tendency to hide behind some of your phobias at the expense of treatment.”
Clack
Sulkily, I try and relax into the couch some more. “I fail to see what any of this is worth if you cannot even cure me of Chryohydrotachophobia.”
During an awkward pause, I can hear the psychiatrist taking a deep breath.
“You are the only diagnosed case of Cryohydrotachophobia,” she explains. “And I can’t imagine the ‘Paralyzing Fear of Rogue Icebergs’ is very inhibiting this close to the Equator.”
“Yeah well says you,” I snort. “If it was up to you people, there would be icebergs rollin up everywhere. Probably crawlin’ with polar bears too. Hungry polar bears!”
Clack
“So you think an iceberg -infested with polar bears- could come crashing in any moment now? Meaning, right through the office walls? Even as we speak? In Los Angeles?”
“No,” I reply, absently picking at a fingernail. “Your thermostat is set at what, seventy six?"
“Exactly seventy-six. That was very good. How did you know?”
“I have very sensitive nipples.”
[LOBO]“Has it ever occurred to you,” she says, clacking her pen open, “that selfless acts -acts of charity and serving Humanity- are among the best ways to overcome many of your phobias and neurosi?”
Clack
“Even my Cryohydrotachophobia?” I am somewhat enthused. "And by the way, it is neuroses."
"What?"
"Neuroses is plural for Neurosis."
"It's not neurosi?"
“No."
"But this illustrates another issue,” she counters. I hear a notebook gently flap against the floor, and the crackling, new lamination optimistically removed from another. “You have a tendency to hide behind some of your phobias at the expense of treatment.”
Clack
Sulkily, I try and relax into the couch some more. “I fail to see what any of this is worth if you cannot even cure me of Chryohydrotachophobia.”
During an awkward pause, I can hear the psychiatrist taking a deep breath.
“You are the only diagnosed case of Cryohydrotachophobia,” she explains. “And I can’t imagine the ‘Paralyzing Fear of Rogue Icebergs’ is very inhibiting this close to the Equator.”
“Yeah well says you,” I snort. “If it was up to you people, there would be icebergs rollin up everywhere. Probably crawlin’ with polar bears too. Hungry polar bears!”
Clack
“So you think an iceberg -infested with polar bears- could come crashing in any moment now? Meaning, right through the office walls? Even as we speak? In Los Angeles?”
“No,” I reply, absently picking at a fingernail. “Your thermostat is set at what, seventy six?"
“Exactly seventy-six. That was very good. How did you know?”
“I have very sensitive nipples.”
Comments