Idiot Bag
Predator Press
[Mr Insanity]
"You attacked firemen?" I says. "What in heaven's name possessed you to attack firemen?"
"THE BAG gave me 'firemen pork'," shrugs LOBO. "I do not question THE BAG. Ever. You would be wise to do the same."
"The bag? What bag?"
"The bag of words I pull from when I'm trying to come up with an idea."
"Every time you need an idea for a story, you pull words at random? I call bullshit."
"Behold!" says LOBO, thumping a heavy sack on his cluttered desk. "Bask in the splendor, ye non-disbeliever."
"Does it work?"
"Try it out," says the screwball. "What kind of story are you working on?"
"Let's say, hypothetically, a love story."
"You pansy."
"What?"
"I said 'Ooo, fancy'."
LOBO closed his eyes, as if in a trance.
"Oh for God's sake--"
"Silence!" LOBO demands. "Oh, mighty and wise bag. Divulge unto us your creative genius, that of which we are so devoided!"
He pulls out two slips of paper. "The title of your romance epic shall henceforth be named," he opens his hand, "Ox Nuts."
"Ox Nuts."
"Yes," he says decidedly. "Ox Nuts."
[Mr Insanity] "You attacked firemen?" I says. "What in heaven's name possessed you to attack firemen?"
"THE BAG gave me 'firemen pork'," shrugs LOBO. "I do not question THE BAG. Ever. You would be wise to do the same."
"The bag? What bag?"
"The bag of words I pull from when I'm trying to come up with an idea."
"Every time you need an idea for a story, you pull words at random? I call bullshit."
"Behold!" says LOBO, thumping a heavy sack on his cluttered desk. "Bask in the splendor, ye non-disbeliever."
"Does it work?"
"Try it out," says the screwball. "What kind of story are you working on?"
"Let's say, hypothetically, a love story."
"You pansy."
"What?"
"I said 'Ooo, fancy'."
LOBO closed his eyes, as if in a trance.
"Oh for God's sake--"
"Silence!" LOBO demands. "Oh, mighty and wise bag. Divulge unto us your creative genius, that of which we are so devoided!"
He pulls out two slips of paper. "The title of your romance epic shall henceforth be named," he opens his hand, "Ox Nuts."
"Ox Nuts."
"Yes," he says decidedly. "Ox Nuts."
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