tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91601532024-03-07T03:11:33.499-06:00Predator PressDon't hate the player. Hate the Pop-O-Matic.LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.comBlogger1599125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-2039770819062156152024-03-04T01:43:00.001-06:002024-03-04T01:47:54.333-06:00Internet Swag<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a><br /><br /></i><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="396" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kgj7xBc3n-0" width="479" youtube-src-id="kgj7xBc3n-0"></iframe></div><br />LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-38643352476112085622023-12-01T00:03:00.009-06:002023-12-01T14:22:09.046-06:00Happily Ever Aftermath<div class="x_elementToProof" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6xdTLxVgLFuNk-E4DS48eELzF9UVFbixbqaWLZYQxLStOsnY1tXkKX6fqWOEF8rr1-cj8WgzqiHB4YDKWcm3Lb-frztFdSnjgaygC5sVP9VLxIyHsnrue080aagyxZQG_6r26nFtXWNB7hy7Wjd28Sg2BS9nuyZQWy4l7wsVd7iiXWOrWTC8g/s969/Troi.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6xdTLxVgLFuNk-E4DS48eELzF9UVFbixbqaWLZYQxLStOsnY1tXkKX6fqWOEF8rr1-cj8WgzqiHB4YDKWcm3Lb-frztFdSnjgaygC5sVP9VLxIyHsnrue080aagyxZQG_6r26nFtXWNB7hy7Wjd28Sg2BS9nuyZQWy4l7wsVd7iiXWOrWTC8g/s320/Troi.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><b style="font-size: medium; text-align: left;"><div class="x_elementToProof" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><b style="font-size: medium; text-align: left;"><br /></b></span></div>LOBO</b><span style="font-size: medium; text-align: left;"> -</span><i style="font-size: medium; text-align: left;"><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></i><br /><br />I know you're frustrated an pissed. I was there last year. Yellin at my students, takin pictures of graveyards, kickin the Dean upside down ... been there, done that.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br aria-hidden="true" />So first, I want to thank you for being the fightiest fighter in the fight.<br aria-hidden="true" /><br aria-hidden="true" />Second, the CliffsNotes version of a thesaurus isn't a very good value. The lack of an apostrophe should have been a dead giveaway.<br aria-hidden="true" /><br aria-hidden="true" />Third, I really hope you come back next year. It will effect my decision on whether to fold the fantasy football league or hand it off .<br /><br />We've been doing this for over a decade. C'mon man ... you know next year opening season you will be all gussied up in stolen fingerpaint with no place to go, smacking school kids upside the head for smoking in the bathroom and their portrayals of you on You Tube. And then you start reading the comments, and POW! You just go kablooey -literally explode.<br aria-hidden="true" /><br aria-hidden="true" />I can't live with the guilt of you leaving your lovely wife with nothing but all that ruined furniture. She could probably save the monitor with a little Windex and elbow grease, but I'm pretty sure the keyboard is f*cked.<br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></span></div><div class="x_elementToProof" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So ya, I am begging you to stick around.</span><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> How we educate our children will dictate our future generations. Childrens are the FUTURE. Also, I bet that furniture was expensive.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span face="Calibri, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Only YOU can prevent forest fires.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: inherit; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />-LOBO</div>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-15836195040640067192023-05-22T02:32:00.000-05:002023-05-22T02:32:38.555-05:00I Preferred the Quarantine<b>LOBO</b> -<a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com" style="font-style: italic;">Predator Press</a><br /><br />"Can you sign it, '<i>To LOBO, the greatest athlete on Earth. He taught me everything I know, and is the Gofather of my children</i>'?"<br /><br />"This is a baseball," Tom Brady points out.<br /><br />"A Bedazzled baseball," I correct.<br /><br />LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-5815025007270386842023-04-12T03:26:00.001-05:002023-04-12T03:29:00.640-05:00I, Robot. Robot Robot<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a><br /></i><div><br /></div><div>"Would you <i>please</i> stop doing 'The Robot'?" asks Wendy.<br /><br />"Couldn't even wait for my breakdance finale?" I frustratedly sigh, gathering up the cardboard. "I don't think we are right for each other."<br /><br /><br /></div>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-47635899634999636992023-03-31T03:56:00.009-05:002023-05-03T00:44:45.586-05:00Part I: A Leave of Abstenance<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a><br /><br />[*wrrrrrr*]</i><div><i><br /></i></div><div>I got bored so fast, I daydreamed about smashing the thing.<br /><br />"We need to meet corporate blah, blah, before corporate blah blah ..."<br /><br /><i>[*wrrrrrrr*]</i><br /><br />-Fucker has a USB charged self-stirring coffee cup.<br /><br />Now that you are all caught up, I never liked this man.<br /><br />And all that follows is inadmissible in court:<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">***</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"His body parts were EVERYWHERE" I told the cops ... "Ihe blood splashed all over my hands!" <br /><br />"Are you black?" he asks.<br /><br />"No," I says. "I don't think so."<br /><br />"Can you help us identify a suspect?" he replied, putting his gun away.<br /><br />"Let me look around and touch everything."<br /><br />I searched everything, ...SO many shovels, and goddamn those knives were sharp.<br /><br />"There are a lot of items with bloody fingerprints in here." I conclude.<br /><br />"Indeed," the cops replied, scratching their chins. "Ma'am ..."<br /><br />"Wendy," she replies.<br /><br />"You witnessed it all?<br /><br />"No. I was trying to get blood and teeth out of LOBO's hair at the time."<br /><br />"So you are his alibi?"<br /><br />"No. I was trying to get blood and teeth out of his hair at the time."<br /><br />"Was he ever black?"<br /><br />"Like the Metallica Album?"<br /><br />The cops put their notebooks away. "We don't need sarcasm, miss."<br /><br />"I would argue you <i>do</i>," I yell from the back seat.<br /><br />"LOBO probably killed him," Wendy shrugged.<br /><br />"Ha!" I says, gnawing at my handcuffs. "Probably! This is a wrongful arrest when you consider all the reasonable doubt!"<br /><br />"That is horrible for your teeth," the cops explain. "Are you black?"</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"I don't think so" I says.<br /><br />As the cops release my handcuffs, they add "There is no excuse for shoddy dental care."<br /><br />"<i>See</i>?" Wendy demands.<br /><br />"This is no time for facts," I says. "We have a crime to solve."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-65679044251496046022023-02-24T00:34:00.000-06:002023-02-24T00:34:13.402-06:00Wed Redding<br /><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c0/15/74/c01574d7be5489dd33a0be871d6530ef.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="611" data-original-width="558" height="200" src="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c0/15/74/c01574d7be5489dd33a0be871d6530ef.jpg" width="183" /></a></div><b><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a><br /></i><div><br /></div><div>"Look" I says. "Divorce is extremely likely. People have been marrying for hundreds of years, and Humanity <i>still</i> hasn't cracked the code."<br /><br />I grab her hands. "I promise you. If science ever figures out why people get married, I will get good at science."</div></div><br />LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-53213028210455526152022-03-17T06:14:00.006-05:002022-03-17T06:29:58.165-05:00Don't. Don't You Want me.<B>LOBO</B> -<I><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a><BR><BR><BR></I><CENTER><iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/kKGNtWap3qs" frameborder="0"></iframe></CENTER><br>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-82183425632798289362022-03-03T10:57:00.001-06:002022-03-03T10:57:52.248-06:00One Could Hope<B>LOBO</B> -<I><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I>
<BR><BR><BR><CENTER><iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/z-fse3UXMUk" frameborder="0"></iframe><CENTER><BR>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-64013879051848622572022-01-03T04:11:00.014-06:002022-01-03T05:51:39.297-06:00Happily Ever Aftershocks<BR><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiIwe6p55HWBfO9-JuS4cZGR-CmfDs9Ib99io7fPHmCrjN5qYaTM7Ox2mNIGV2FIESBqWTrfuWXSGZKz3XymJ_oJo9GYJLqMrA74fX6ax8oK-jjCGE17edO6HOVGXJbs4KsDQ2SMlTWSnyaLIlIljQjCs45_VovUfFzAWWzoNPAElbFJv3BUA=s560" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; clear: left; float: left;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiIwe6p55HWBfO9-JuS4cZGR-CmfDs9Ib99io7fPHmCrjN5qYaTM7Ox2mNIGV2FIESBqWTrfuWXSGZKz3XymJ_oJo9GYJLqMrA74fX6ax8oK-jjCGE17edO6HOVGXJbs4KsDQ2SMlTWSnyaLIlIljQjCs45_VovUfFzAWWzoNPAElbFJv3BUA=s200"/></a></div><b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a><br /></i><br>So ya, I guess I owe it to the millions and millions of readers who are always asking me evey day <i>"What ever happened to LOBO?"</i><BR><BR>
And to a lesser degree, <I>"... and Wendy?"</I><BR><BR>
Wendy and I had an amazing Christmas ... dancing in the cool moonlight listening to Tychovski, and admiring the beauty of fresh snow under bright stars. But sometime around 7:15am, relatives showed up and gave us Covid.<BR><BR>
So we had a solid 3-4 hours of joy and cheer, but all the new January and February murders got bumped down the schedule: frozen ground is too hard to dig inconspicuous shallow graves in. And due to the spike in demand, many of these holiday murders will have to be pushed back until April ... possibly even May!<BR><BR>[*sigh*] I know. Same as <I>last</I> year.<BR><BR>
Our New Year's Resolution is to get more cardio.<BR><BR>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-80496490094952716422021-11-15T10:46:00.005-06:002021-11-15T10:48:55.805-06:00Malibu<BR><B>LOBO</B> -<I><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I><br><br><BR><CENTER><iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/wyinJyWUhas" frameborder="0"></iframe></CENTER><BR>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-5028443995732555652021-09-14T10:16:00.004-05:002021-10-27T13:33:32.441-05:00Pocket Full of Posies<BR><BR><B>LOBO</B> -<I><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I><br><br>Just started my first vacation in a decade, and OMG I am <I>soooo</I> bored.<br><br>Expect some short stories.<br><br>:)<BR><BR>
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-33892159773156733712021-05-04T06:03:00.028-05:002021-06-02T08:13:53.581-05:00Emperor Erroneous<b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMa7IZEQUx8TZ8QAsp8LgH2i1MhyETszUn0Rp9h5y-RaljREIONognqfmp8_oQqMst4Yu26hXNQlRbnlucjckr9UVbE5k2QHH4dY-TKnvJ2pOl_zRCqmyRKo7jxTiL9EQS0T0p/s930/wedding.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="930" data-original-width="620" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMa7IZEQUx8TZ8QAsp8LgH2i1MhyETszUn0Rp9h5y-RaljREIONognqfmp8_oQqMst4Yu26hXNQlRbnlucjckr9UVbE5k2QHH4dY-TKnvJ2pOl_zRCqmyRKo7jxTiL9EQS0T0p/s320/wedding.jpeg" /></a></div><div><b><br /></b></div>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></i><div><br /></div><div>"Well congratulations," says says Gina, looking up from her newspaper.
<br /><br /><i>The idea of a Google employee reading a newspaper always cracks me up.</i><br /><br />"For what?" In a bathrobe, I'm just trying to get an iced coffee.</div><div><br /></div><div>"Wendy told us you proposed to her."<br /><br /><i>Goddamit I need to get my own refrigerator upstairs.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Wincing and scratching my eyebrow, I reply "We had a conversation about getting married. It was purely academic I thought."<br /><br /><i style="text-align: left;">I've been awake eight seconds, and I'm already in a death roll.</i></div><div><br />"We were all surprised too," she shrugged.<br /><br />"I hate marriage," I explain, holding my head. "I give up my job, friends, family, home, pets, car, sex, and all worldly possessions that don't fit in a backpack." I surmise. "And there is <i>way</i> too much yelling."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2SaBENujhl0TQdiuzWqnuX-z2AcZRzkpe7V4qv9efCjLfLJgsB4hOEyi7PO5ZDPRyWrlENkXitZlCmXh5z3t_HpS4-GesOTlqfhxbr8rmQ_IM9-lpSGrMW7ffeTf8m7c5kHY/s580/WeddingII.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="580" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2SaBENujhl0TQdiuzWqnuX-z2AcZRzkpe7V4qv9efCjLfLJgsB4hOEyi7PO5ZDPRyWrlENkXitZlCmXh5z3t_HpS4-GesOTlqfhxbr8rmQ_IM9-lpSGrMW7ffeTf8m7c5kHY/s320/WeddingII.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><div>"You're exaggerating" she says. "You've been dating her for, like, five years. She definitely loves you."<br /><br />"Wendy is the first person I've dated since the divorce," I admit. "Do I want her to turn into a vile screaming jealous lying hypocrite adulterous racist psycho-shrew proliferating computer malware already? No. I think we are doing just fine as we are."<br /><br />I twist the coffee cap off with a satisfying "pop" sound.<br /><br />"I actually kinda <i>like</i> her," I elaborate. "Why rush it?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-50105920506130484602021-04-10T14:51:00.005-05:002021-05-06T09:42:45.849-05:00MAMBA<br />
<a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com//search/label/politics"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5156618727836388002" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVWKMMJLe1y6aKKTruIZFezYgDyYcWFL0we3KuePD_8TSdfTHbJiXq27fnfRZY4Sa1w9FPCkN7cVyJWBU4c76ocLZq9si3QL9j0EEB60EP2OkSSpidyF6D1KrMsS-6GfQXbDAn/s320/532062069_010e1c0ebe.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;"></a><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/"><BR><BR>Predator Press</a> <br />
<br />
<b>[LOBO]</b><br />
<br />
Millions and millions of readers are always asking me every day, "LOBO, where are you at with current day politics?"<BR><BR>
I have founded the "<b>M</b>ake <b>A</b>merica <b>M</b>ore <b>B</b>oring <b>A</b>gain" party, aka <b>MAMBA</b>.<br><BR>We promise to do absolutely <I>nothing</I>. All you need is footie pajamas.<br><br>
Nancy Pelosi tucks us in after milk and cookies.LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-34499722142793053432020-12-12T04:12:00.004-06:002021-01-28T01:08:24.110-06:00Quiet<b
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<br />LOBO</b
>
-<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></i
><br /><br />I've told so many crazy stories about how I blew up my shoulder two
months ago, the boring truth will likely be lost to history.<br /><br />"I was playing for the 49ers."<BR><BR>"The
Kama Sutra doesn't come with warning labels!"<br /><br />"The MMA put me in the
wrong weight class," or<br /><br />"An old friend bet me I couldn't stick a
one-and-a-half somersault with a half twist from a janky Craig's List pommel
horse."<br /><br />-Then, with a straight face, I conclude with "I can't talk
about it per the settlement agreement."<br /><br />But this got me thinking
about Predator Press again. Here we both are at the end of the world.<br /><br />The
problem with writing Predator Press is that it isn't a memoir. Yuck. I
can't think of anything more pretentious and boring than some douchebag's
memoir, let alone <i>mine</i>. But framed as quasi-fictional humor, all
the names, dates, locations and scenarios have been changed to protect the
guilty to such an extent, even <i>I</i> am having issues tracking this, er,
"story."<br /><br />So I'm going to try and rewind a little bit. The early
parts of the past decade were admittedly pretty shitty, and, a pisspoor
humorist, I stayed trying to be funny. On a Cosmic scale, I think that was
what I was born to do. But while I obfuscated myself so no one had to see
the ongoing relentless shitshow, life slowly and incrementally got better.<br /><br />And
I wouldn't tackle such a project it unless it had a happy ending -well, as happy
an ending as 2020 will allow.<br /><br />Welcome to History.
<div wfd-id="0"><br /></div>
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-19222875069096000482020-11-08T02:18:00.005-06:002020-11-08T02:18:41.907-06:00Internet Swag<B>LOBO</B> -<I><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I><BR><BR><BR>
<CENTER><iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XRVA5PMSKKE" frameborder="0"></iframe></CENTER><BR>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-45565633197273913262020-10-23T16:14:00.009-05:002021-01-28T01:03:46.070-06:00All That Sweet Library Money<B>LOBO</B> -<I><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbRddeDghD_hxLV_U5ij30rgLUQ_BRjSi6QPry3n1j33mhRVZrVuBaOWeWxZpw5m2BeAPTWajGdbL-TGC_ueO0X3zDbes4H5XX7nWdVUhpxXBARMYBnvaoo_571M2g3av4pr4/s2048/P-51_Mustang.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; clear: left; float: left;"><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="1369" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbRddeDghD_hxLV_U5ij30rgLUQ_BRjSi6QPry3n1j33mhRVZrVuBaOWeWxZpw5m2BeAPTWajGdbL-TGC_ueO0X3zDbes4H5XX7nWdVUhpxXBARMYBnvaoo_571M2g3av4pr4/s320/P-51_Mustang.jpg"/></a></div>
<br><br>As I throw the switch, I explain "It's time to put on your put on your protective goggles and safety chapstick."<br><br><I>The turbines whine to life.</I><BR><BR>
"So this is how you spend your free time?"
<br><br>
"What?" I says. "I can't hear you."
<br><br>
She leans her mouth to my ear: "SO THIS IS HOW YOU SPEND YOUR FREE TIME?"
<br><br>
It is at this moment I simultateously realize women are imposible to understand, and her hair looks <I>amazing</I>.<br><br>"I had my bedroom fans replaced with P-51 Mustang plane engines so it would seem more comfortable and peaceful," I confess. "Those Messerschmitt engines made everything smell like gasoline."<br><br>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-26312123660883068942020-09-17T04:44:00.002-05:002020-09-17T04:44:36.054-05:00Bandits
<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a></i><BR><BR><BR>
<CENTER><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7mlP-cC5yus" width="459"></iframe></CENTER><BR><BR>
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-37096868204027630432020-07-25T11:09:00.002-05:002020-11-08T02:19:25.548-06:00Internet Swag<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a></i> <BR><br />
<br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QOJfyp0KMmM" width="480"></iframe></CENTER><BR>LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-68830851899940377032020-06-21T01:41:00.001-05:002021-06-01T11:39:47.017-05:00Malibu<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwEGbx1DyaS44fFIREKAb6SVGSZT8QR2o5WIRhnCTtgBmhG9z60KFTDJI-V-FeWSVUoEREtQGRdbI3GLciMGtKGwGhQ-5VWGPSUklfY3W79F16YxaCwhUvqcr8Zb0Y6OxTr9-/s1600/paper.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwEGbx1DyaS44fFIREKAb6SVGSZT8QR2o5WIRhnCTtgBmhG9z60KFTDJI-V-FeWSVUoEREtQGRdbI3GLciMGtKGwGhQ-5VWGPSUklfY3W79F16YxaCwhUvqcr8Zb0Y6OxTr9-/s400/paper.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a></i><br />
<br />
The irony of watching plumes of smoke along the coast from the deck of the Honeypot isn't lost on me.<br />
<br />
"You look like you would rather be there," Fish giggles, pouring wine.<br />
<br />
"Nah," I says, taking a glass. "Protesters, counter-protesters, insurgents ... this is fighting police on police terms."<br />
<br />
"So you're admitting it comes down to law?"<br />
<br />
I shrug. "Nobody was listening. This had to happen."<br />
<br />
Fish and I are coworkers labelled "essential," so we started sort of quarantining together a few months ago to blow off steam. We're an odd pairing. Her house in Malibu burned down several years ago, and local ordinances forbade her rebuilding. In the transition, she moved to the Honeypot to consider her options.<br />
<br />
"You understand," she says soberly, "if the business folds, you lose the house."<br />
<br />
"Ya," I reply. "Maybe the car too, unless I can pull something out of my keyster. Gina, Rachel and Jiaying are already looking for something else."<br />
<br />
<i>They will probably have to take Phil II with them.</i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5SkBQ-e8fPS3ioh0WM0VMzrw8x8aNnNOgveTuBZWMuZ1PqiaMiS8zlQ8NCseYghnwokW-6aqR7E7DKn8BPyO_a71lf2h9eqP8_0wMrrE2JjYRVXs1j724Vt-taBwTXfarEL7/s1600/fish.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="210" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5SkBQ-e8fPS3ioh0WM0VMzrw8x8aNnNOgveTuBZWMuZ1PqiaMiS8zlQ8NCseYghnwokW-6aqR7E7DKn8BPyO_a71lf2h9eqP8_0wMrrE2JjYRVXs1j724Vt-taBwTXfarEL7/s320/fish.jpg" width="280" /></a></div>"You and Wendy could stay here for a while."<br />
<br />
"Thank you," I smile. "But I doubt Guillermo wouldn't stand for that."<br />
<br />
Guillermo Del Taco, Fishs' ex husband, is perhaps one of the most intimidating men I've ever met. He lost Honeypot in their bitter divorce. Bad mojo. Plus this is a bit of a trap. Fish isn't good at hiding her romantic intent. For instance, I came aboard under the auspice of 'having dinner.' Where is the food?<br />
<br />
When I first met Fish, she was beautiful. But after her divorce, she started getting frequent plastic surgeries. She got the nickname "Fish" when someone unkindly remarked she was starting to look like a Wallace and Gromit love interest. My penis and I have intuited some sort of self-mutilation in process. She's unrecognizable now, and a weird metaphor; like America, I'm not sure I ever knew what she was. Over time, all the cosmetics and polish are observable as a very thin veneer.<br />
<br />
<i>This</i> version of 'beauty' must stop. It's not healthy.<br />
<br />
"I've been waiting for this my whole life," I muse out loud, and a salty waft of smoke blows by. "And I don't know how to help it."<br />
<br />
<br />
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-68531563805787157232020-06-14T11:45:00.000-05:002020-07-25T11:21:07.156-05:00Destroy The Running<b>LOBO</B> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I> <br />
<br />
<br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XgZhoLqixsQ" width="480"></iframe></CENTER>>|<br />
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-29675540702976921192020-06-10T09:19:00.001-05:002020-06-11T00:27:57.348-05:00Choking the Skeleton<br />
<a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com//search/label/politics"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5156618727836388002" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVWKMMJLe1y6aKKTruIZFezYgDyYcWFL0we3KuePD_8TSdfTHbJiXq27fnfRZY4Sa1w9FPCkN7cVyJWBU4c76ocLZq9si3QL9j0EEB60EP2OkSSpidyF6D1KrMsS-6GfQXbDAn/s320/532062069_010e1c0ebe.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;"></a><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a> <br />
<br />
<b>[LOBO]</b><br />
<br />
As the worlds' most beloved Anarchist, millions and millions of people are always asking me every day "LOBO! What should we do?"<br />
<br />
Look. I'm on a yacht in International Waters surrounded by half-dressed Instagram "Influncers," trying to recover from edibles/wine/various. Frankly, I, this ship, and everyone aboard need to be <i>boiled</I>. STOP BEING A PEST.<br />
<br />
I've witnessed and experienced cop abuse … thankfully I haven't been <i>murdered</I> yet, but I do have a nice tan going and the day is young. Our relationship with police needs to be reinvented, and I WILL NOT PAY for bodycams that can be turned off conveniently, more weapons, et cetera; fuck "copaganda" … they decimate lives and communities maintaining an already brutal economic status quo. I'll buy them a dictionary so they understand the words "Protect" and "Serve." <br />
<br />
It is our <i>duty</I> to resist authority.<br />
<br />
Incremental defunding makes sense. All the "reforms" proposed currently are common sense things police were supposed to be doing in the <i>first</I> place. Harvey Weinstein is getting a trial, and a guy trying to pass a bogus $20 bill is <i>dead</I>. After almost a century, the cops ain't 'learnin SHIT. So fuck 'em.<br />
<br />
There ARE good cops. Let's make the dick-wagging bad ones accountable. And then maybe I can stop being an Anarchist, and take up Sudoku or knitting or something.<br />
<br />
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-15188703048626435992020-04-14T09:17:00.003-05:002021-05-04T05:16:47.688-05:00Mista BLICK<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOkLZsIv8PKPDry8Wjt54Ybq9io-JJDg2I8gN8yxfqoerkTb7vGQOBwQNchBkryeSNsgKGqBcrg7vrAfa7315K6a32Q_dW3IiqfVuAI9NqeeBu92kWTp31Bxe3wmb15lF8Qgns/s1600/Barbarossa.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOkLZsIv8PKPDry8Wjt54Ybq9io-JJDg2I8gN8yxfqoerkTb7vGQOBwQNchBkryeSNsgKGqBcrg7vrAfa7315K6a32Q_dW3IiqfVuAI9NqeeBu92kWTp31Bxe3wmb15lF8Qgns/s320/Barbarossa.jpg" width="262" /></a><b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a></i><br />
<br />
I haven't had much time to delve into the VR world. And, until recently, I regarded it merely as "nifty."<br />
<br />
But then I got a copy of something that changed my opinion. There is software on the way that will let you make "handwritten" notes and a really cool 3-D archive system. Anyone that knows me knows that I have notes EVERYWHERE, and my current organizational skills have me finishing this post February 2027.<br />
<br />
Just saving the <i>paper</i> excites me.<br />
<br />
"Man you really like that," Barbarossa observes. "Can I try it?"<br />
<br />
It was about 6 minutes before he was hurling the writing tools, hoping for explosions.<br />
<br />
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-41381765331630526312020-03-24T12:48:00.000-05:002020-07-26T01:14:03.541-05:00Acoustic Uterus<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iGnXOLGZX0g?clip=&clipt=EAAYAA%3D%3D" width="480"></iframe></center><br />
<br />
LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-84783738686305901052020-03-20T06:20:00.000-05:002020-04-14T09:18:39.501-05:00Outercepted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oiKNpbohhxwcQ3M6OfpabQlSzutGLXDnmVGAnTGzpTlBNlF0mo4J9gD-Pdjs88qJnC9G3GPDMqSJl8ghy3L4CmprHi1IK5W20t_HQTYTJl3oHtRgpDp6dA955u7S-XBhR7co/s1600/AU.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="344" data-original-width="500" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oiKNpbohhxwcQ3M6OfpabQlSzutGLXDnmVGAnTGzpTlBNlF0mo4J9gD-Pdjs88qJnC9G3GPDMqSJl8ghy3L4CmprHi1IK5W20t_HQTYTJl3oHtRgpDp6dA955u7S-XBhR7co/s400/AU.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<b>LOBO</b> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com/">Predator Press</a></i> <br />
<br />
<i>"Hello?"</i><br />
<br />
"Hi Rachel."<br />
<br />
<i>"What do you want?"</i><br />
<br />
"Would you bring me up a bottle of water?" The air in my room is so delightfully cold, I am breathing steam.<br />
<br />
<i>"Are you serious?</i><br />
<br />
"I haven't been home for six months," I explain into the phone through the hole in the blankets I am getting oxygen through. "My bed feels like a warm marshmallow."<br />
<br />
<i>"You are serious. You just can't come downstairs?"</i><br />
<br />
"I'll let you sleep with me."<br />
<br />
<i>"Gina would skin you alive for even saying that."</i><br />
<br />
"I'll let her sleep with me instead."<br />
<br />
Suddenly, I hear two loud knocks. My bedroom door opens a few inches and then slams, but there is a bottle of cold water on the floor.<br />
<br />
It glitters and sweats in the light from the crack under the door. <br />
<br />
Fifteen feet away.<br />
<br />
I curse at merciless God, "So am I <i>Job</i> now?"<br />
<br />
… and then I remember the drone remote control is on the nightstand.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160153.post-50129015553490035402020-02-14T07:48:00.002-06:002020-02-14T07:48:50.162-06:00Cruelinary Skill<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkiqwIxWNgqKvKU80A0CeWpgqAjL86OacVbdRxuwZqwDahQQ0W-K35IRBBWVBx0NhymuLKojEyP2HzQVUWT4EjM4KXmhGR7upATKcpcUfyRp577iPrWFtn1W8jLiDvP2M9ZBEg/s1600/blech.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkiqwIxWNgqKvKU80A0CeWpgqAjL86OacVbdRxuwZqwDahQQ0W-K35IRBBWVBx0NhymuLKojEyP2HzQVUWT4EjM4KXmhGR7upATKcpcUfyRp577iPrWFtn1W8jLiDvP2M9ZBEg/s400/blech.jpg" width="400" height="267" data-original-width="300" data-original-height="200" /></a></div><br />
<b>LOBO</B> -<i><a href="http://predatorpress.blogspot.com">Predator Press</a></I> <br />
<br />
Hostess "Limited Edition" Wintermint Ding Dongs were so horrifyingly bad, I had to eat a second one just to confirm they tasted like toothpaste.<br />
<br />
Weeks -okay <i>months</I> later, still in my freezer, I thought "<i>Oh come on. They <b>couldn't</B> have been that bad.</I>"<br />
<br />
Yep. Two more.<br />
<br />
At this rate, I might hate them enough to buy again next year.LOBOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01198039409565360772noreply@blogger.com0